Need a venting session? It’s usually not a bad idea to have one. But whether or not venting is productive depends on a few factors, such as who you talk to and how angry you become, experts said 

“By and large, we do need to get our negative emotions out,” Rachel Millstein, a staff psychologist in the behavioral medicine program and the Lifestyle Medicine Clinic at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, said to HealthDay. “The ways we do it, though, that’s where it’s healthy or unhealthy, productive or unproductive.”

Researchers already know that our daily stressors can raise our risk for cardiovascular disease. They also know that managing stress can be good for our health. Evidence shows that a solid social support network — aka friends and groups of others — can improve mental health.

“Calling a friend and letting it out can be helpful. It helps us feel connected to our social support networks, which is a big determinant of life satisfaction and overall well-being,” Millstein said. 

Of course there’s a difference between venting and complaining, and the friends that a person entrusts with a vent session can make or break the experience. How a person vents and who they vent to can also determine if the listener will let them go off in the future.

Experts share a few tips for when you have to let off some steam:

  • Choose someone who’s supportive. Even if they have a different perspective than one you may want to hear, it can be available, Millstein said. It’s important, however, to pick someone who isn’t dismissive of your feelings, added Jonathan Shaffer, an associate professor of clinical health psychology at the University of Colorado in Denver. “It’s invalidating to share and get no response from the other person. It might make you feel like you don’t have worth or are not loveable,” Shaffer said. 

Also choose someone who will let you vent but not continuously amplify negative feelings. It’s important that the listener doesn’t get tired of being your go-to venting pal. “If you vent over and over again, this person might not want to be present, and this can fray a social connection,” Millstein said. Don’t hesitate to seek out professional help, either. 

  • Write. Some people need to vent but may not feel safe doing so. That’s when writing your feelings in a journal can be helpful, Shaffer said. 

Jotting down your thoughts and feelings can be helpful psychologically, and science has found it can improve your immune system and sleep, ease depression and pain, and even reduce blood pressure.

  • Focus on stress relief. Whether or not you vent, don’t discount other ways to ease your stress. Comedy can help, as can exercise.
  • Stay positive. When you vent, whether to a pal or a notebook, focus on something positive. After you go off on whatever’s got you upset, think about how to end things on a positive note. Or think about what you’re grateful for. “Make a plan for some type of relaxation, such as deep breathing or meditation afterwards,” Shaffer said.